Cavalier de Moto

On Friday I took a [very] long lunch to drive up to the DMV/DVS testing station in Arden Hills. Basically, it was a 40 minute scoot down Lexington, each way... Definitely the most scooting I'd done at a time, or in a day. If better prepared (goggles, long-sleeves) I could see how a cross-country scoot would be fun, although a day-long trip would take a lot of stopping (for gas, and to rest), and with the restricted top-speed you really wouldn't get all that far. Someday though, someday.

Anyway, I took the scooter (the 'bigger', 150cc one, obviously) up to Arden Hills to take my motorcycle license road test. Without the full motorcycle license (with my bigger-than-50cc engined scooter) I can't ride at night, or with a passenger, or without a helmet, or go on a highway. Not that I mind those last two, but riding after sunset, and with someone on the back is something I want to do.

When I pulled up there were 3 dudes already waiting, posed by their bikes... 2 choppers and a crotch-rocket... "Great," I thought, whining up on my Honda. "I'm totally the tool on the scooter." Fortunately though, there ended up being 3 or 4 scooter riders that showed up by test time.

The instructor called attendance and gave us our testing order, I was to be second.

This is what the test consisted of:
1. The Sharp Left-Hand Turn Through Cones, Followed by Braking Test in Which You Must Smoothly Come to a Stop with Your Front Tire Resting in The Box test.
2. The Weaving Through Cones and then Making a Right U-Turn without Touching the Lines test.

3. The Quick-Stop Test in Which You Must Maintain 15 M.P.H Through the Cones and then Stop in an Appropriate Amount of Time test.
4. The Swerve Test that is Similar to the Quick-Stop Test in that You Must Maintain 15 M.P.H. Through the Cones, but then Swerve to Either the Right or Left Without Touching the Lines, or Crashing test.
Not bad, right? That's what I thought when I saw it on paper too. But looking at the course in person for the first time, I was like, "Dang! Those cones are really close together."

I was nervous.

And so was the first guy, on his crotch-rocket. You could tell. And I didn't think these other guys with there big fancy motorcycles COULD get nervous. I mean, come on. You OWN a MOTORCYCLE, MAN! But I guess that didn't matter. Because he failed. The jerk. Fails right in front of me on the slaloms. He went off course, missed a cone, and touched his foot down. That's 2 strikes. And that's enough at the DMV.

One up, one down.

My turn.

I scoot over to the starting T. ('Whiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnne.')

I take a deep breath.

And I perform. Beautifully.

I become one with the bike. I no longer have feet, but wheels. And I caress the pavement. It caresses back, urging me along. Through the cones and lines that are no longer obstacles, but ornamentation. The natural beautifiers of my habitat. I am in my element. The course begins to move beneath me as if I am sitting still. I am the Sun in a pavement universe.

And then... "Here's your paperwork," I hear faintly, as if spoken by a flea, or an ant. "You can go finish up in the office."

"Ok," I say, remembering human language.

I go to the office and wait in line. For humility's sake, I say to myself, knowing that no piece of paper or social institution's 'endorsement' could tell me now what I am, or am not.

Bjorn Hagstrom
cavalier de moto