"...and myyy, how soft your hands are!"

So last week was kind of unique. I got to go to Phoenix on a work trip Wednesday night through Friday night for a Dealer Training Course at US Screen Print & Inkjet Technology.

First, somehting about the Phoenix area:
I could not live there. No way. And it's not just the heat. (It was really hot though. About 100 each day, PLUS it was humid, which was unusual, but I guess it happens for a couple weeks each year.) But that heat makes the landscape really... well... UGly. Yeah, with a capital 'UG'. I know it can't be that UGly everywhere, but as far as my eyes could see beyond the city, everywhere we went, it was just this barren, rocky, red/brown/grey, dusty, hilly pile of a landscape. None of that beautiful desert you might see on nature programs either. No dunes. No canyons or rock formations. Just dry piles of rock and dirt.

I guess I'm used to seeing natural greens (grass, trees) when I look out my window... the nature that we have around here is somewhere that I want to get away to. To relax, run around, whatever. From what I saw (and again, I'll admit that my views were limited... I saw nothing like the Grand Canyon area I've been to before) The Outdoors around Tempe and Phoenix looked only like a place you'd get away to... to die. :) Driving back to the airport on Friday, I realized for myself what you hear all the time about how 'there just should not be a major city out on that desert'. It really looked like the surface of an uninhabitable planet. Like I wouldn't even be able to breathe out there. The Outdoors, as I imagine them, is something I value too much to ever live that remotely from it.


The actual city of Tempe, where we stayed each night, seemed nice enough. (We never got a chance to see much of Phoenix itself.) And the people at the Screen Institute, as they call it, were pretty cool. Most of our days were spent in a classroom setting. We learned about everything from inks and maintenance, to artwork and software, to what the competition has out there. We got to see some of their bigger printers in action. We met Scott Fresner. (He's like a celebrity in the screen print business.) And we ate. A lot.

The hotel that they had us up in served a full breakfast. Eggs, bacon, sausage, waffles, yogurt, fruit, cereal, juices, toast, pastries. So that was awesome. At The Institute, they brought in lunch each day, and they also had cookies, dough nuts and bagels around all the time to snack on. Thursday night they took us out to dinner, which I've learned means - start by 6 with rounds and rounds of free drinks for everybody, then eat a little, then go out drinking again - if you're on a business trip. Lots of food and booze went on not only US Screen's company card last week, but also the Northwest Graphic's card for Wedneday's and Friday's evening meals.
I don't think I'm cut out to be a salesman. I snuck off to bed earlier than the others each night. (Actually, both Wednesday and Thursday night I stayed up watching American Gladiators on ESPN classic. What a great show.) I had good trip over all, and it was definitely nice to break up the routine. I don't think I'd spend any of my own money to get back to Phoenix though.

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Back at home Saturday, Änna and I decided to start in on our landscaping project. Our plan is to tear down half of the retaining wall that separates our yard from our garage, and then build it back up, but parallel to the house instead of curved out towards the alley. Our goal is to gain both more usable yard-space AND more driveway-space, which may not seem possible, but you'd get what we meant if you saw the yard. This, I recognize, will be a whole different kind of 'work' than the couple of days I'd just spent in Phoenix.... Like Boston's Big Dig, only without the tunnels and car crushing ceiling panels. :) Eventually a privacy fence and some more soft-scaping (plants, etc) would be nice, but we'll see what our budget allows.

I put in something like 6 hours Saturday and 11.5 hours Sunday of taking down 70 or so of the 50 lb. stones, stacking them up, digging out the new shape, and loading out fill. Last night my hands felt hot, bloated and raw because I was too tough to put on gloves after so many years of working on a landscape crew without them. And today my body feels like I played a tournament over the weekend, or at least had a really good Acceleration workout. I also lost the 4 lbs that I gained 'working' in AZ. :) I can't help but be amazed at my[former]self for being able to do that kind of work every day, every summer, for 7 years.... and I'm SUPPOSED to be in good shape right now! But I guess it's just a different kind of fitness.

We forgot to take before pictures, but maybe I'll get something up here as the work progresses. It will be pretty sporadic though. For the month of August anyway we'll be out of town quite a bit. There's our backpacking trip next week, the Hagstrom family Lutsen trip, the Spawnfest tournament in Washington state... But I guess that building a rock wall would be a good, symbolic way of spending our 1 year anniversary coming up at the end of this month!

Cavalier de Moto

On Friday I took a [very] long lunch to drive up to the DMV/DVS testing station in Arden Hills. Basically, it was a 40 minute scoot down Lexington, each way... Definitely the most scooting I'd done at a time, or in a day. If better prepared (goggles, long-sleeves) I could see how a cross-country scoot would be fun, although a day-long trip would take a lot of stopping (for gas, and to rest), and with the restricted top-speed you really wouldn't get all that far. Someday though, someday.

Anyway, I took the scooter (the 'bigger', 150cc one, obviously) up to Arden Hills to take my motorcycle license road test. Without the full motorcycle license (with my bigger-than-50cc engined scooter) I can't ride at night, or with a passenger, or without a helmet, or go on a highway. Not that I mind those last two, but riding after sunset, and with someone on the back is something I want to do.

When I pulled up there were 3 dudes already waiting, posed by their bikes... 2 choppers and a crotch-rocket... "Great," I thought, whining up on my Honda. "I'm totally the tool on the scooter." Fortunately though, there ended up being 3 or 4 scooter riders that showed up by test time.

The instructor called attendance and gave us our testing order, I was to be second.

This is what the test consisted of:
1. The Sharp Left-Hand Turn Through Cones, Followed by Braking Test in Which You Must Smoothly Come to a Stop with Your Front Tire Resting in The Box test.
2. The Weaving Through Cones and then Making a Right U-Turn without Touching the Lines test.

3. The Quick-Stop Test in Which You Must Maintain 15 M.P.H Through the Cones and then Stop in an Appropriate Amount of Time test.
4. The Swerve Test that is Similar to the Quick-Stop Test in that You Must Maintain 15 M.P.H. Through the Cones, but then Swerve to Either the Right or Left Without Touching the Lines, or Crashing test.
Not bad, right? That's what I thought when I saw it on paper too. But looking at the course in person for the first time, I was like, "Dang! Those cones are really close together."

I was nervous.

And so was the first guy, on his crotch-rocket. You could tell. And I didn't think these other guys with there big fancy motorcycles COULD get nervous. I mean, come on. You OWN a MOTORCYCLE, MAN! But I guess that didn't matter. Because he failed. The jerk. Fails right in front of me on the slaloms. He went off course, missed a cone, and touched his foot down. That's 2 strikes. And that's enough at the DMV.

One up, one down.

My turn.

I scoot over to the starting T. ('Whiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnne.')

I take a deep breath.

And I perform. Beautifully.

I become one with the bike. I no longer have feet, but wheels. And I caress the pavement. It caresses back, urging me along. Through the cones and lines that are no longer obstacles, but ornamentation. The natural beautifiers of my habitat. I am in my element. The course begins to move beneath me as if I am sitting still. I am the Sun in a pavement universe.

And then... "Here's your paperwork," I hear faintly, as if spoken by a flea, or an ant. "You can go finish up in the office."

"Ok," I say, remembering human language.

I go to the office and wait in line. For humility's sake, I say to myself, knowing that no piece of paper or social institution's 'endorsement' could tell me now what I am, or am not.

Bjorn Hagstrom
cavalier de moto

Sick List '07

Well, it's Tuesday, and that means that we have Acceleration training . It'll be my third session tonight, and I still get a little nervous about how I'll manage on the treadmill and doing all of those plyos. Really, I don't have any reason to be nervous. From what I've experienced so far, the training is much like a good high school XC workout, and I enjoy myself for most of the hour or two that we're there. Maybe I'm just going to be a bit apprehensive until I join the slew of people who have gotten sick so far this year... maybe puking at Acceleration is just a big milestone looming in front of me.

The Sick List '07:
Jeff - Well, duh. (He pukes all the time working out.)

Shwa - Seemed ashamed to admit it, but I might envy him.

Moss - Got the most out of that first workout.

Pat - Didn't fully 'lose it', but probably would have if he tried to get up from that chair after the tread mill.

Jeanine - Couldn't throw up, but wanted to at last Friday's workout.

Even in writing this list, I get the feeling that these people have been inducted to some hall.... But I haven't decided what adding my name to that list would feel like. (Fame or shame?) I guess there's always the chance that I'll find out tonight.